


Subtle Side Effects of Being in the First Order

by vomitingwords



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Boys In Love, Caring, Insecurity, M/M, POV Third Person, Stormtrooper Culture, Stormtrooper Rebellion, The First Order Sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:47:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22624297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vomitingwords/pseuds/vomitingwords
Summary: Finn has some personality traits he picked up from being in The First Order and they're oddly endearing
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 6
Kudos: 130





	Subtle Side Effects of Being in the First Order

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fire_ash_rebirth](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fire_ash_rebirth/gifts).



> This is for @here-be-dragons on tumblr. I hope you like it. <3

It’s not that noticeable at first… at least Poe doesn’t notice it. Maybe he should have but it was subtle. The way Finn walks, it’s definitely something he picked up while being in The Order. Its tall and strong, his posture is immaculate. Way too good to be taught by someone with a loving hand. It takes him about six months of being with Finn every single day to notice that certain parts of him are only a part of him because he was in The Order. Don't get Poe wrong, they aren't bad, they make Finn who he is and Poe loves who Finn is.

The way he talks. This is the one that Poe noticed right away. He talks in short sentences, like he’s always waiting for someone to give him permission to continue. That is, until he started getting closer to Poe. He started adapting Poe’s mannerisms and trying to soak up all of Poe’s knowledge, just so he could have more to talk about than The Order. Mostly, Poe’s love of piloting. Which Poe couldn’t get enough of once he was sure that Finn wasn’t just doing it for approval. 

It turned out that Finn loved flying, whether it be for fun or to save the universe, he had almost begged Poe to teach him once The Order had been defeated. That was actually how things between them started. Poe was set on teaching Finn how to fly and Finn was set on learning. It started off slow, of course Poe already knew he had feelings for Finn from the moment he took his stormtrooper helmet off but Poe wasn’t about to scare him away, so they talked about flying. 

Poe didn’t realize how easy it would be to get close to Finn as he was teaching. A hand on his shoulder for support, oh his chest to hold him back when they take off too quickly. After a few lessons, Poe started to get closer to Finn on purpose. Just to see what he would do. He’d move closer to Finn as he was teaching, letting the sides of their hands touch. Then it moved to him putting his hand over Finn’s to guide him as they steered the ship. It was natural enough to not warrant any suspicion, not that Finn would even notice. 

Part of what makes Finn who he is, is that he has some trouble picking up on social conventions. He wouldn’t notice when Poe was making a move or the subtle hints he dropped about his feelings which, as Poe quickly found out, makes him extremely susceptible to pranks. The first time, Finn had absolutely no idea what was going on while Poe sat there laughing his ass off. Small things at first, he would move things around on Finn. Finn would get up to use the bathroom and Poe would move his drink or chair somewhere else. It didn't seem like much but Finn was always so confused when he came back and his innocence made Poe smile. It even made Poe smile when Finn didn’t understand more serious things like the fact that loving someone didn’t mean he was weak or that letting himself be vulnerable wasn’t a bad thing. Poe didn’t really mind, he liked being the one to teach Finn to open himself up. 

Growing up in The Order, Finn didn't have much experience in things that had to do with emotional or physical affection. The first time that Poe reached out to touch Finn in an intimate way, he had flinched away. He couldn't get away from his thoughts, the overwhelming anxiety of the situation. How could he kill someone with no problems but have so many problems accepting love? It’s not like he didn't try, he was the first one to say ‘I love you’ even if he did shy away from Poe for days afterward. He thought that love meant weakness and weakness was only a chance to let someone take advantage of you. He had tried to push away the romantic feelings he began to have for Poe but for someone who was supposed to have this unbelievable restraint, it was harder than he thought. It still is hard, even after so much time away from The Order and so much time with Poe. There are some things he just can’t shake. 

Finn was pretty much bread to be a clone. He’d been with The Order Since he was a child. He didn’t even have a real name until Poe gave him one. He didn’t know who he was and even though Poe tried his best to help him, it wasn’t that easy. He didn't have any hobbies, well other than all the horrible stuff he was forced to do but he didn't want to focus on that. That's why he was so excited to learn to fly like Poe, it was something he wasn't forced to do. He wanted to have something in common with Poe of course but Poe didn't force anything on him and that made everything better. When Poe first suggested that Finn learn to fly instead of just shoot, he thought it wasn't optional, that Poe would make him do it no matter what. It was only after Poe had a long discussion with him about the fact that he’s in control of himself here, that no one is ever going to force himself to do something he didn't want to do. That even if he knew how, Poe would never, ever, use The Force on him.

When they got more comfortable and Finn stopped being so self conscious about himself, he started showing Poe the good side of what came from being in The Order. Things like the loyalty that was pounded into his brain. He was loyal to a fault, to Poe. To bb8. He always made sure that Poe was okay. Whether that be after a tough flight or just waking up in the morning. For all the emotional scars that being in The Order has left him, it made him realize that he never wanted anyone to feel bad. 

While Finn knows in his heart that Poe can most definitely take care of himself, he took pride in doing good things with his life now and that included making Poe feel good. He’d get up before Poe and make him breakfast just so he would start his day off on a good note and yes, he’d spend the majority of his day with Poe but that didn’t stop him from constantly checking in with him. It’s like he spent so much of his life being forced to do so many terrible things in his life he needs to make up for it. Poe has told him a million times over that he has nothing to make up for, that the past is in the past. That Finn really didn’t have to do any of that. He knew he didn’t have too, he wanted too. That’s what people do when they have someone they love and Finn finally had one.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow my tumblr if you want more like this 


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